You want this in six sentences?
The groundhog has spent days attempting to unravel old passwords, e-mails, various dead-end pathways through underground tunnels, in an attempt to find her way into an abandoned blog.
In the process she came upon an awful lot of e-mail addresses, including one that receives an enormous haul from Groupon Chicago.
The groundhog has never lived in Chicago, so that was surprising.
The groundhog shakes her head; squints her eyes at the unexpected sunlight.
She never expected to find her way through.
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